Tribute To Grandma Mary | 1 Year Later

May 9th, 2018. The day my heart grew and broke in half within hours of each other. The day I hit one my biggest highs and lowest lows. I had been guessing for a few weeks that I was pregnant again. But too scared to take the test because my baby literally had just turned one. How could I be pregnant again? (Que me freaking out) I had taken a test but it didn’t give a clear read. I was shooting a fresh 48 session two days later when the store would be open again and could buy another pregnancy test after the shoot. I took it and this time got a clear read. Definitely pregnant. I was so scared. I would have three kids in only 4 1/2 years. 😳How could I do it? but also really excited to meet this new little one. And to see Vince be a big brother. He has always been such a sweet and tender hearted little boy. And Kenidy loves to help with babies. Vince has been the best brother to Walker and Kenidy my right hand girl always helping with Walker and playing with Vince.

My grandma was sick. Really sick. She had been suffering from lung, kidney, and brain cancer. The cancer treatments hadn’t worked and we knew we didn’t have long. I got a text from my mom just a few hours after taking the test that my dad had asked us to pray that grandma would be able to go peacefully. How could the day that I found out we would get another special angel into add to our family my grandma would become an angel herself? It wasn’t long before I got the news that Grandma had passed with all her kids and with Grandpa beside her.

I know she was rocking out baby in heaven for us while we waited anxiously for him to join us here on earth. Thanks for taking care of our sweet guy for us Gram. Giving birth is such a special and magical time and I knew Grandma was right there cheering me on when our sweet Walker boy was born. I could feel her so strongly there. I wish Walker could have told us everything she had whispered to him before we got to hold him in our own arms. I'm sure she gave him some good advice and a few hints of how to make us a bit crazy sometimes. I'm sure she gets a good laugh watching me take care of my 3 babies - one girl and two boys just like she had.

It still doesn't seem real that when I walk into her house she won't be sitting on the couch with a big grin when I bring the kids into visit. I always knew she loved me, but she truly treasured her time with her great grand kids. When she was really sick and down one day she called me to see if I could bring the kids by because she knew that would cheer her spirits. Kenidy loved grabbing her by the hand and taking her into each room to look for "treasures." We always came home with what Grandma called junk and Kenidy thought was prized possessions. Just recently Kenidy started doing head stands. Justin and I were both pretty shocked. Especially since the only time Kenidy has seen anyone even do a head stand was at Grandma Great's house two years ago. Even when she was sick she still manged to show off her skills to Kenidy while she sat on her head for a long period of time. I know she is proud of Kenidy's new talent.

I wrote down all the memories I could think of in my journal of grandma after her funeral so I can remind my kids what a fun lady she was. Some of my favorites are every time I would go to her house when it was just her and I she would take me to Kings and we would go downstairs and she would let me pick out a Barbie. I had one of the best Barbie collections of all my friends. After Kenidy was born, Grandma came by every day to water and miracle grow my flowers because she was worried about the care I was giving my flowers. They looked very loved and cared for after she started coming by 😉 She made the best macaroni salad with little shrimp in it I have ever eaten. When I was pregnant with Vince I craved it more than anything else. She gave me my 1st job working at Ransom's. It was always fun when I got to work on Tuesday nights along side her. She took me on several shopping trips. Each one started with a trip to Ransom's to pick whatever treat I wanted. (Just don't tell grandpa ;) ) I don't remember playing with toys at Grandma's but I loved playing in her laundry room sink as a kid. My favorite spot to hang out in her house as a little girl was a small linen closet. She would pull the vacuum out for me and let me have sleepovers in there. I even convinced her to spend the night there with me a few times. (check out the picture below with Kenidy and Grandma hiding in that same closet down below!) Grandma was always up for an adventurous spot to sleep during our sleepovers. I remember several times convincing her to lay all the seats down in her Ford Explorer and spending the night in the back of her car with it parked in her garage. Driving the toy blue jeep around while she walked along side us was always a fun time too. We would call Grandma to let her know we were coming so she could make sure the battery was charged. I spent many nights at Grandma and Grandpa's house my senior year because the 15 minute drive home seemed so far when I got off work and had early morning cheer practice the next morning. I remember telling Grandma about some of my boy troubles. Her solution was "kiss em all!" She didn't always give the best advice but I always knew she loved me.

It's been a rough year without you Gram. I have to remind myself that not very many kids get to have so many great grandparents to love them and make memories with. My kids have been blessed with 3 sets of greats they have gotten to know. And now another one watch over them in heaven. We love you gram! I am grateful for the plan of salvation and to know we will see you again. I think of you often and know that you would be upset to see all of us upset and crying. So I'm going to wear your shirt today and think of all my favorite times with you and remember a heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved.